Revising an earlier draft of your poems is an interesting process. I originally called this poem The Killing Field and it relates to a scene witnessed in my back garden. The new draft is shorter and I think more effective. A new shape of the poem on the page started to emerge and I decided to play with that.
The early title also probably conjures up that 1984 British Biographical drama film set in Cambodia.
Titles matter and I often struggle with them.
If the poem is meant to surprise you don't want to give too much away.
However they can be a tad esoteric!!
And there is a practice these days of long titles like : To the boy who nearly won the Tesco Art Competition. Love that!
The Blackbird
His head tilted to the thrum of
earthworm
He didn’t notice a shadow
hug the ground, or hear
the wing swoop propel
the raptor forward
its long tail fanned out to
break speed
The last thing
the blackbird saw
was the hawk’s yellow eyes
fixed in a deadly stare, before
claws
descend, before shorn
feathers blacken the air.
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