Wednesday 1 April 2020

Covid Talk

Well I’m going down the road anyway! I want to smell grass, feed ducks in the park.
Me too!
You know it’s not allowed now. It’s illegal.
Since when? Says who?
The government, and if we’re caught there'll be consequences. Fines. Maybe jail, and there are hundreds of people there, all sneezing and coughing and spitting on top of each other.
I spat on twenty people last week. Before the lock down.
I spat on a hundred.
I went out as a bin bag and hopped along the whole length of the road.
You saw that on a video.
Who says we’re unfit? Obese?
Non essential.
Shouldn’t be allowed in shops.
I bought twenty packets of toilet roll, forty cans of pears, six boxes of ice-cream and rubber gloves.Dozens of them.
I bought hundreds of hand wipes and Easter eggs and pasta and hand sanitisers
You can’t get those anywhere.
I have loads of them. Thousands.
I want to go to the park. I need fresh air.
We could borrow Rover, next door.
Hates us.
Does so. Remember that time you nearly killed him.
Thought those pellets were treats.
Did not
More like rat poison. He remembers that. Mutts never forget.
That’s elephants.
You’re allowed  brief exercise within 2 metres of home.
You mean kilometres.
Not us.
I want to cut the heads off daffodils in the park.
With a sword
Or a stick.
A walking stick.
Berate dog walkers with dogs off leads.
Or on leads.
Throw sticks in the spokes of cyclists.
Trip up joggers
Get justice!

Voice from the side: Are you two playing two metres apart?
We are.
Well come in and wash your hands and you can have ice cream and pears and then we’ll go to the shops but you know you’ll have to –
Stay outside. We know, Ma. We will.

Copyright with Cathy Leonard 2020

1 comment:

  1. It's all there! I don't know how people with young children survive!