Showing posts with label Flash fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flash fiction. Show all posts

Tuesday, 21 February 2023

A flash piece on the subject of Cookies



The Cookie Monster


 I consume facts.
The whiff of a new topic stimulates my salivary glands, sets me drooling over my keyboard. The first bite piques. My friend tells me her son is going to Cinque Terra. I correct her pronunciation. Chin-kwa ter-re I tell her, with a rolled r sound. She doesn’t know where that is. I do.  I am off. My hand reaches for cookies to supplement what I have already imbibed. I regurgitate what I know while my fingers lick and prod the keyboard in search of new facts. I download a map of the area, explain the coastal configuration that throws up kilometres of beach south of his destination. Give a vivid depiction of sardine packed beaches in high season. Talk of remote authenticity, timeless appeal, hilltop sanctuaries, peeling buildings, pastel glow. I warn of twisting cliff-edge roads and deep pocket parking fees. Recommend the Blue trail of low level difficulty requiring high stamina. Add a wiki-potted history of Genoa and Naples and warn against taking Italian public transport in July given the prevalence of industrial strike action at that time. Tell her about pizza Blanca, a local speciality and recommend Sciacchetrà, the regional wine. Find and compare great deals on Trivago. Recommend walking tours with wine tasting. Do I accept cookies? Yes. Yes. Yes. She is sated with my store of information and somewhat overloaded. I do not care.
Who wants to know all that? She has work to do, emails to send, dog to walk, cake to bake and, in desperation, the loo to get to. I follow her to the bathroom door still spouting. I am regurgitating everything I know about Hugh O’Flaherty, the Scarlet Pimpernel. Who? she asks. Why him? The Italian connection? Does it matter?
All that matters is facts, facts, facts.

Friday, 1 February 2019

The Bully


For weeks now he had been harassing her.

 Their first interview had gone badly. He had suggested that he might change the nature of her contract and had offered her someone else’s job.
She had stated that it wasn’t in her nature to rise at the cost of someone else’s fall. The teacher he was proposing to drop from the programme was more skilled than she was, had been there longer etc etc.

She’d taken the moral high ground. That had been a mistake. She had cast him as a petty tyrant wielding his sword and herself as some truth crusader. It wasn’t a good fit. She didn’t even like the teacher in question and the feeling was mutual, but she disliked the new principal even less.

Then there’d been the discrimination problem. Sarah, a member of the traveller community, never brought a book to the English class. Kate had allowed her to share with another pupil for days, but enough was enough.

“Didn’t you get a copy of Silas Marner, Sarah?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“If you go to the office the secretary will check up on it.”
“Like now?”
“Now would be good.”

The teenager struggled to her feet, made a great din about manoeuvring out of her seat, knocked over a book or two and slammed the door on her exit. She didn’t return to class that period.

Kate checked with the secretary. Sarah hadn’t gone near the office.

A week later she sailed into the classroom, still bookless. Kate reckoned that a confrontation would be entertainment for the rest of them and serve only to prolong this agonising trawl through nineteenth century literature. Kate refrained from asking the question. But Sarah wanted to make a point.

“Miss, I don’t have a book. The secretary wasn’t there the other day. I waited for ages.”
“That’s not what I was told, Sarah.”

But Kate had an alternative strategy in place. She pulled out a copy of Silas and gave it to her.
“Now you have it. Page thirty three….”
“You think of everything, Miss.”

Sarah didn’t take part in much of the discussion. She was chewing gum. It’s forbidden, of course, but frankly Kate would rather they chewed gum than disrupt the class.
“They’ll all be chewing it tomorrow!” warned a colleague.
Quiet class! Could do with that. “Let them chew gum,” Kate declared. “Vive le gum!”

But next day Sarah arrived minus Silas.
“Forgot it,” she muttered by way of excuse.
“Well, that’s a pity because you can’t share with Emily.”

The sharing exercise usually resulted in low key chatter, a background hum Kate could be doing without.

“Not fair!” Sarah announced.

That day the principal hauled Kate into his office and accused her of discrimination against a traveller. She laughed in his face.
“What I said I would have said to any student.”
“You needed to be more sensitive in this case.”
“I need to treat her exactly the way I treat the others."
“What’s the problem with sharing books?”
“Maybe you should go back to teaching and try it out.”
“And you didn’t check up on her when she didn’t return to class.”
“What? and leave the rest of them sitting there twiddling their thumbs or worse! She’s over sixteen. Not an infant.”
“She doesn’t like you. Now there’s another problem.”
“Do you honestly think I care if every student I teach likes me or not? She’s not the first and won’t be the last. I’m not listening to any more of your drivel without a union rep present.”

She probably shouldn’t have called it drivel and referred to it specifically as his. She was on her feet and heading for the door. He was apoplectic, face beetroot, looking like he was mid seizure. When she was half way down the stairs he was still yelling after her, to the great amusement of a group of students on morning-break.

That’s when it started. The door knocking, the interruptions. She had hardly begun any lesson than he was at the door calling the roll, checking up on a student, asking about fire alarms, school surveys, parent teacher meetings, exam reports. He had an endless repertoire of spurious excuses for being there.
Sometimes he repeated this exercise a couple of times during the period. And on it went.


“I could go to the Union. It could end up in High Court. It could rumble on for years and swallow up my life. Lawyers could get fat on it; I could get thin,. They could bring in legislation declaring that: Students must be allowed to share books in school! Why not a referendum?  It could cost the Irish tax payer a small ransom! ” she declared.

 In the end, like Paul on the road to Damascus, she had an epiphany. She made a large poster that declared:

Recording in Progress.
Do not enter.

They did actually do some recording and since several programmes required it and since he hadn’t a clue about any of the programmes, it worked.

Copyright with Cathy Leonard 2019

Tuesday, 12 June 2018

Cat Tales




Kitty caught his first mouse today. Down the garden steps he came, staggering with the excitement of it. I couldn’t believe it; a huge mouse between Kitty’s jaws.
He’s nearly two, and what with his one eye and the metal pins in his leg I never thought he’d manage it. I had to check for the blue collar and missing right eye to convince myself that it really was our kitty strutting down the garden with his prize.

The dog knew something was afoot and set upon our highway man and his hostage.
Kitty abandoned mousey to his fate, which would have been medieval coming from a 30+ kilo Setter had I not intervened with much coaxing and wheedling and enticing. I locked the two bloodthirsty marauders in the house and went out to survey the damage.

Mousey was, to my horror, still alive. No visible sign of trauma or trail of blood. I hadn’t noticed the whiteness of mice feet before, nor their semblance to the human hand. In short, I couldn’t deliver the fatal blow. I hoped for stunned and folded him into the leafy undergrowth. Then the waiting. The forays in and out of the undergrowth to check for pulse. The hopes of finding the body to be missing, presumed recovered. The attempts to thwart the highwaymen at my heels every time I ventured out.

It may have been kinder to finish mousey off with a hammer, but my hand baulked at the deed and his passing was, in the end, peaceful at least. I wasn’t there for it, but when I found him unresponsive to touch, back white feet folded over each other, eyes glazed, I buried him under the raised garden shed surrounded by rocks; the ones you’re not supposed to remove from the beach.

I thought grandly of Newgrange passage tomb and portal stones and dolmens as I laid him to rest, and prayed that Kitty wouldn’t do an Indiana and exhume him the following day.


Thursday, 20 July 2017

Writing Competitions again....

This is a feel-good, predictable little piece of flash written for a competition. Whiskey of a particular brand had to come into it!



HORSE POWER  

Rory googled jobsearch again. He had finished his course in marketing eight weeks ago, and so far no luck. Some of his pals were already planning to join a friend in Canada or Australia. Working in the mines in Western Australia was becoming a popular destination for new Irish graduates.
   “Gran, what do you think of Australia?” he said over his shoulder to Granny Maire who was now pouring over the jobs vacancy pages in the newspaper.
   “What do you love to do? That’s the question.”
   “What does that matter? What keyword should I enter in this job search, Gran?”
   “Horses? You used to love horses.”
   “Gran. I’m serious.”
   But Rory entered horses and found himself staring at a complex array of jobs for a betting company.
   “I have to select a department now. What do you think? Dial-a-bet, Quantitative analysis, Risk?”
   “Are you sure you’re on the right site, son? What about equine management? Isn’t that the grand title they give to it now?
   “I think we’re on different pages, Gran.”
   “I’m seventy five and I’m telling you now, Rory O’Hare, you’re a born genius with horses and if you don’t follow your talent you will end up in a mine somewhere of your own making. Now it’s getting late and I’m having a night cap. Will you join me?”
   “You should be drinking hot chocolate at your age.”
   “There’s nothing that a drop of whiskey won’t solve.”
   “Get off my case will you, or I’ll end up in a paddock up to my knees in muck.”
   “Worse places to be. You never minded when you were a lad. You had a sparkle in your eyes then. Did you apply for that course?”
   “Goodnight, Gran.”
   Gran walked sprightly out through the door and into the kitchen where she would settle into her nightcap and the daily crossword. Rory’s eyelids were already drooping over the webpage. He read the long list of job titles ; business analyst, business intelligence analyst, E-commerce project manager. How did you get qualified for all of these posts? And who was getting the jobs these days? Nobody he knew.
 

  Maybe she was right. Maybe he should just check his emails for word about that place on the stable management course she’d coaxed him to apply for three weeks before. His friends had laughed, but something inside him had held firm through all the teasing and taunting. Rory tapped in his password.
   
Five minutes later he was flinging open the kitchen door.
   “Have you any of that hard stuff left Gran, because I think we have something to celebrate that really matters.” 

Granny Maire noticed that his eyes were sparkling.

Copyright with Cathy Leonard 2017


Monday, 4 April 2016

Theatre


I like writing flash fiction because it's quick, maybe like sketching. 
And there's a word count  boundary. 
And my concentration span is short and getting shorter.
 So here goes. 
A piece of fiction under 500 words.


Setting- Amateur Production of Betrayal by Harold Pinter
BLIPS AND BLEEPS
  At the Interval

It could be an overplayed joke between us for months. 
The only blonde broad at Pinter’s Betrayal, and he manages to pick her up.
 She turns away from him, not even aware that I am on route to claim the bespectacled fifty- something that stands somewhat bemused in the middle of a throng of tea drinkers.
  
   “A penny for them?” I ask, handing him a cuppa.
   “She recognised me from school.”
   “You went to an all-boys”
   “Primary school.”
   “You’re kidding!”
   “No.”
   “She said you hadn’t changed a bit?”
   “Something like that.”
   “I believe it!”
 
I decide to return the tea cups. 
I notice, on my periphery, the blonde making in the opposite direction towards him. She can’t be serious. She is. 
  
I take my time coming back. Don’t want to be seen to be the harpy wife who won’t let him out of her sight for two minutes.  Amble along the scenic route, reading the framed paraphernalia, detailing local history and lore that I have read about a hundred times already.
  
Eventually I see her extracting herself from his riveted attention. She sails straight past me without as much as a ship’s horn passing in the night acknowledgement. He doesn’t ask what took me so long.

  I don’t hear any of the second half of the play. I’m preparing my own moves. I’m waiting for the exit shuffle. Will they make contact, by gesture, by glance? My head is lowered but I am watching, reptile like, with all my antennae extended. I notice nothing untoward. Their performance is impeccable. I don’t even joke about the leggy blonde in the car on the way back. He’s the one who brings up the subject.

 “She lives locally now.”
 “Oh yes?” I say, not even asking who “she” is.
 ”Grove Avenue. Near the sea front.”
 “She told you that?” I can’t help but query. He doesn’t answer. “Can’t let you out of my sight for a minute.”
 “She’s just an old school mate,” he snaps. 
He normally joins in this type of banter and refers to his boyish charm.


   A week later he’s late. Very late. I’ve sent three texts and he hasn’t answered my calls. Finally at midnight my phone bleeps.
   “Broken down.”
   “For six hours?” I text back.
   The phone rings.
   “Of course not. Was working late. Went out to start the car. Had left the lights on. Battery’s dead. Called the AA.” His voice sounds like text speak. Like he’s rehearsed it. A hundred times.
   
 I’m in the car three minutes later. I don’t know how I got there. My heart is racing. My hand is on the ignition. I know where I’m going. I look in the mirror.  What am I going to do when I get there? Knock on doors? Start a scene? Smash a windscreen?
   
My phone bleeps.
“Fed up waiting. Can you pick me up?” 
 “From where?” My fingers fumble.
 “Where the hell do you think?”

Copyright with Cathy Leonard 2016   


Tuesday, 1 March 2016

In The Pink in the Park


A walk in the park woods will always throw up something...
pine cones to take home,
kindle sticks for the fire,
a branch of spring buds,
holly berries,
a stray dog,
a chat,
an encounter,
a friend,
a story.....

Here is her story.... His story follows tomorrow

More flash fiction than poem.

IN THE PINK.


He wore a pink tie. His beige shoes didn’t match his grey flannel trousers
and he was carrying an umbrella with a pointed ferrule and a long shaft -
with twelve stretchers at least.  

He just looked like he might know -an older man with a real umbrella –
bound to have some experience of it.
It’s a pity I didn’t look at him a bit harder -

You see, I could pass him again tomorrow
and if he isn’t wearing the pink tie
and if it isn’t raining. …

And I shouldn’t have said, “We’re early on the road.”
I must have sounded like one of those carers in the wards, in the homes, even on the streets, who address everybody in the first person plural, when they really mean you.

But I didn’t mean him, I meant us, both of us. 

I’d remember his hands though -big hands - capable.
And when he raised them and said what he did I thought of a priest
calling on the congregation to stand for the gospel

What was it he said?

And as if summoned,
the injured bird took flight right out of my cupped hands -
Its beak no longer frozen in open mouthed fright

And we watched it rise, then dip, then rise again
And then he walked on

I should have told him I liked the pink tie.


Copyright with Cathy Leonard 2016