Revising an earlier draft of your poems is an interesting process. I originally called this poem The Killing Field and it relates to a scene witnessed in my back garden. The new draft is shorter and I think more effective. A new shape of the poem on the page started to emerge and I decided to play with that.
The early title also probably conjures up that 1984 British Biographical drama film set in Cambodia.
Titles matter and I often struggle with them.
If the poem is meant to surprise you don't want to give too much away.
However they can be a tad esoteric!!
And there is a practice these days of long titles like : To the boy who nearly won the Tesco Art Competition. Love that!
The Blackbird
His head tilted to the thrum of
earthworm
He didn’t notice a shadow
hug the ground, or hear
the wing swoop propel
the raptor forward
its long tail fanned out to
break speed
The last thing
the blackbird saw
was the hawk’s yellow eyes
fixed in a deadly stare, before
claws
descend, before shorn
feathers blacken the air.
Copyright 2026 Cathy Leonard
The Killing Field
He would have had his head tilted listening for earthworms.
He wouldn't have noticed a shadow hugging the ground
or heard the short wings swooping the air
propelling the raptor forward, its long tail fanned out
to break speed.
The last thing the blackbird saw was the yellow eyed sparrow hawk
fixing it in a deadly stare before claws descending
left shorn feathers blacken the air.
What we saw looking out our kitchen window
was a hooked beak delve into bird skull
and strong yellow legs pin their prey to the ground.
It was too late to save the songster
and probably unwise.
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